The Reason I Hold On
by Vanya-Atma
Summary: "Itachi no!" She screamed as the warm, gooey liquid slowly drizzled over her, from neck down. "Not the hair!"
1. Chapter 1

**THE REASON I HOLD ON**  
BY - VANYA ATMA

_CHAPTER ONE - WHERE WE ARE NOW_

* * *

Right where Sakura's head had once been a giant tree exploded, its wide trunk shattering into a thousand deadly shards that sparked out in every direction. She shielded herself behind another celestial being, catching a few splinters within her cloak but not much more. The top half of the hundred foot evergreen creaked loudly, hovering high in the sky for a moment before gravity pulled it to the earth, long branches almost squishing the six nin beneath it's wide birth. They had but a heart beat to jump out of the way as, in a great gust of wind the hundred year old tree crashed to the ground, the impact vibrating into Sakura's brain and sending up spirals of dirt and debree that had everyone shielding their eyes.

"Quite the artistic statement if I do say so myself." A voice rang out through the clearing, raising Sakura's attention to where a form now stood atop the massive evergreen. He wore a long obsidian cloak that was bestrewn with ivory etched crimson clouds and a straw hat covered most of his quite feminine features. Sakura was not surprised, she was seeing more and more of this blond haired man as of late.

"A little drastic though, even for you." Sakura replied dryly, crossing her arms under her armored breasts, she even went so far as to cock her hip to show her slight annoyance.

"Not true! Didn't you see the way the clippings of wood sprayed out from the main mass? Breath taking!" As if to accentuate his words the darkly clad nin raised his arms and began to flash his palms in and out to define the way his explosion had created said art.

Sakura could only sigh. For the last month whenever she was on guard duty the blond had made it his mission to stalk her, finding her either on the path or already in battle. And no matter how hard she tried the man always managed to find her which that within itself was a feight for she prided herself in the ability to not be seen. But once again here they were.

"Ow!" Deidara exclaimed from atop his roost, looking down to find a dagger had sledged itself into the flesh of his side. "That is not nice."

There was a small smile upon her lips as she surged Chakra to her legs and in one leap joined the blond bomber nin on the fallen tree. "That's what you get for leaving yourself open when there are several missing nin trying to kill you." With little grace Sakura grasped the short hilt and pulled, satisfied when he groaned.

When the tree had exploded the white robed nin had disbanded, but now Sakura could see them in the forestry line, regaining their footing.

"They are trying to kill you! Not me!" Deidara whined, grasping at his side where blood flowed freely. It wasn't a deadly shot by any means but Sakura knew it wasn't meant to be, just a nick of flesh and the poison would be able to do its job.

"Well, you go ahead and keep on believing that." Sakura said, tipping her body to the side as another poison tipped knife shot through the air, slicing past her right cheek by millimeters. "And as you start convulsing on the ground you can tell me more about them not trying to kill you."

Slowly, as if drunk the blond started to tilt on his axis and much as the tree had done he timbered to the hard bark of the tree top. "Men, can't live with them.." Was her parting statement as she jumped clear into the sky a good twenty five feet, narrowly avoiding the berraitment of knives that followed her ascent upwards.

-/-

Twenty minutes later found the pink haired Kunoichi throwing a passed out Deidara on the top of the Hokage's desk and huffing out. "You need to stop sending baby sitters after me."

"I think you said something akin to that last week." Came the smooth reply, the Hokage sat in a lavish chair behind a large, hardwood desk though that chair was currently looking outward at the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked all of Konoha.

"And the week before that." Deidara decided to take that moment to groan, a sound that was filled with pain. In all reality Sakura could have relieved the side effects of the poison but she'd left the blond to suffer, extracting just enough that he would not die.

Turning in his chair, the Hokage came to frown at what he saw presented on his desk. His brow came to a sharp V while he tilted his head to the side slightly. "Really Sakura?"

She'd come through the front entrance of the remodeled Hokage tower, letting each and every Ninja she passed get a good look at not only the limp man she carried over her shoulder but also the two severed heads that were so fresh they still dripped blood on the floor. More than once she'd been called vindictive, Sakura would disagree, but this time was once too many. She didn't need to be baby sat and she would clearly state it this time.

"Here." And with that sharp word she slammed the twin heads next to Deidara's body. "I killed eight of them but only two were salvageable."

It was a good thing that the female ninja was wearing the black uniform of anbu for she was covered in blood, the silver of the chain mail that graced her torso was smeared with it while the white anbu mask that was other wise completely blank shinned crimson. Her distinctive pink hair was covered in a black hood but she knew when she got home she would be shampooing twice, and then once more after.

Leaning back in the large chair he brought his hands up to his chin, resting against steepled fingers. "Only two were salvageable?" He intoned, not quite pleased. They needed a count of each and every Aibori they killed, a solid count, and though Anbu was sworn to protect Konoha, treachery was no stranger to the man behind the desk. The Aibori were growing bolder and bolder, venturing further into the borders of fire, sending spies into Konoha's mists. Anbu had strict orders, seek, kill and bring back their heads.

Sakura could feel a vein pulsing above her right eye. "If you hadn't sent Deidara after me, and had he not ruined my attack, I would have presented you with each and every head Hokage-sama."

The Hokage took a moment to look from the writhering bomber nin upon his desk, to the still bleeding heads and then to his female Anbu. His eyes burned into those small slits of the Anbu mask, while he continued his silence.

"Hokage..." Sakura began when the silence became so heavy she could practically feel it.

"Excuses. You are using excuses Envy." The seventh Hokage of Konohagakure snapped, cutting her words off and using the name given to her when she had passed the torturous exams of the Anbu.

This made Sakura straiten her stance, _he'd never used that name before..._

"Your performance today shall be looked over." He said in his smooth tone, dropping his hands to the table in a solid sound. "But till then, you are on leave."

This made Sakura gasp, it was only a portion of a heart beat till she was bursting forth. "You can't fucking do this! I know exactly what it is that you are doing!"

At her expletive two black forms dropped from the ceiling, making Sakura take a step back from the desk and glaring daggers at the two men she'd trained with in Anbu.

"I can't do this?" The Hokage started, drawing her cool green gaze back to his richly dressed form. "Who is Hokage here?"

She gritted her teeth together. "You are Naruto." Her voice was so cold one of the Anbu would have sworn frost left her lips, but one moment she was standing there in the room, the next a warm breeze drifted through the large room, a previously closed window now slammed open and the female nin gone.

-/-

The third training ground was to simply put it, a disaster. Sakura knelt in it's center breathing heavily while sweat dripped down her back and pooled at the nape of her neck. She no longer wore her Anbu uniform since she was on leave, so declared by the Hokage. Her usual training attire was still sturdier than anything she had worn when she was younger though and weighed down by suggested poundage by the green monster that was Rock Lee.

Stark white her fish net shirt did little to cover her thin form but the black cloth like wraps that encased her torso was lined with steel strings that if a Kunai or throwing star tried to penetrate into her body it would block just as well as chain mail if not better. These wraps started just above her breasts and ended under her black pants, where a thick belt bisected her hips to hold the majority of her weapons including a Windmill Shuriken that was folded upon itself.

Her calves and forearms were wrapped in such the same way, though metal guards also protected her vulnerable skin, made of a heavy metal they weren't for every day use but Sakura had wanted to kill Naruto after she had left his office. Since she couldn't do that demolishing their old training ground was the next best thing. A hundred extra pounds was just icing on the cake. Her legs burned while when she tried to lift her arm they shook from the strain.

In a thirty foot diameter the ground around Sakura was cratered, ten feet deeper than everything else, while not a single stone larger than a pin head was to be found, having disintegrated with her rage when she'd slammed her fist into the dirt.

"That last one could be seen from the Hokage Monuments." A bland voice uttered from behind her, making Sakura gnash her teeth together.

"Maybe that pricks face will be next." She gritted out, slowly rising to stand in the center of her destruction. All around her tree's were shattered, boulders were cracked and her anger was clearly written upon the earth.

"That's not the first, nor the last time that thought will cross someones mind." Her unwanted companion replied.

Her hands were clenched as she turned to face Sasuke Uchiha, once she had looked at this man as if he represented her everything but now she felt nothing but loathing.

"Why are you here Sasuke?" There had been a time she would have fainted at the fact that he'd chosen to talk to her, chosen to grace her with his presence, but now all she wanted was to be left a lone so she could finish her demolition.

Shrugging his broad shoulders the dark haired nin simply rocked back on his heels.

She opened her mouth once then snapped her teeth together. "Right, well I'd rather be left a lone." And with that she turned on her heel, the un-ruined forest line her new target.

Sakura could feel the man following her. "If you have something to say, then say it Sasuke."

But even when she had come to a stop before a tall maple he had yet to speak. "Fine." She sharpened out, grasping two small Shuriken from her waste in either hands and then with as much strength as she could muster she threw first the set from her right hand, then left. All four smacked into the hard wood with a resounding thud that had the top branches shivering. The star like weapons had stuck themselves so far into the white flesh of the tree that there was only two points that shinned in the mid-afternoon sun to hunt that they had even been thrown.

This proceeded for the next ten minutes, well over a hundred struck the Maple, biting deep each time.

"I hadn't even thought such skimpy clothes could hide so many Shuriken." Sasuke stated dryly once Sakura dropped her hands to her side, breathing so heavily that her pink bangs blew up and down with the motion.

"What is your problem!" She screamed, twisting so hard to face her old team-mate that the grass underfoot ripped from it's roots and her long braided hair whipped at her own body.

Sasuke for his part quirked his sharp features into a smirk that had Sakura's hand literally itching for the Windmill. But when he stood there stoic as always she continued in a high pitch. "I want you to know that I wish I had never brought you back!"

That got a sour look on the Uchiha's features but not enough, not nearly enough. "You're nothing to me, you're a traitor to Konoha and I wish I had left you to die at the bottom of that chasm." Perhaps if she hadn't just had the run in with the Nanadaime like she had then her words would not have been so bitter, but the last few months had found Sakura Haruno out of sorts. "You should be bound right now!" She continued venomously. "Your Chakra portals blocked so that all you feel is cold, a cold so deep that you'll never be able to feel warmth again, not even when you run into the bowels of hell."

"Sakura." She would have continued but that one word, uttered by such a voice had her skin crawling and the hairs on the back of her neck raising to attention. One second there was air, the next a tall, solid form was standing next to Sasuke.

She would have had to get on her knees and bow had he been wearing his Anbu uniform, but out of his high station, she could glare daggers at the crimson eyes that bore into her flesh and lift her nose to look down at him. The two were so much alike that you could not doubt their brothership, from their long obsidian hair to the pale smoothness of their ivory skin, they'd been apart for so long that when she'd first seen them together, not covered in blood it had caused quite the confusion. But now she hated seeing the two of them together, utterly hated it. For they simply reminded her of the injustice that was life.

"Sasuke meet me back at the compound." Itachi said, his tone so dark that Sakura knew something bad was about to happen. Rarely was it that Itachi Uchiha let emotion set into his tone, even less so than Sasuke, who she'd known for the majority of her childhood life.

"But.." Sasuke began only to bite back whatever it was that he was going to say when that penetrating glance was zeroed in on him. With a sigh the younger brother vanished in a spark of Chakra.

Sakura was still looking to where Sasuke had disappeared when she felt herself literally flying through the air. She had a second to wonder upon what a clear blue sky was out today before her body was skipping over the hard ground like a flat rock to a lake. Three... Four... on the fifth crash she caught herself, hands dragging in the dirt for a good three feet leaving divets. Pain exploded through her chest, where he had hit her.

There was a rage so hot in her heart that all Sakura saw was red as she clutched at her rib cage. Biting down a scream of foul curses Sakura reached for the familiar feeling of the Windmill Shuriken and in her fingers it only seemed to solidify that urge to make something bleed. Flicking the large weapon open all it took was a Surge of Chakra to the souls of her feet she bounded upon the earth, twenty meters from the Uchiha who's cloak was billowing in the air currents of his power. Mere seconds passed as she dissolved the distance between the two souls, the weapon was already arched behind her so that she could fling it forward at the main mass of Itachi. She'd always wanted to do this, always wanted to see pain whisper behind those ever serious eyes.

The Shuriken flicked out, twisting in a blur, but Itachi's form was already gone, had dispersed long before she'd even gotten to him. He materialized behind her, his purple tipped fingers coming together to form a set of twelve seals so quickly that it was barely registered in history. A ragging ball of fire escaped from his lips, barreling towards the pink haired nin, who had but the amount of time to not think, just react, sending her body up and over the black, white and red form of Itachi less she be disintegrated into nothing.

Acrobatically her legs flipped towards the sky, sending the five blades hazardously close to the long hair of Itachi's head, _so close._

"No." Was all he said before Sakura felt as though her arm was ripped out of her socket. A strangle sound of pain left her throat as she scrambled to catch her feet under her as the ground came up quickly.

She felt her mouth open slightly in disbelief as the large Shuriken disappeared into the forest, taking with it a few small tree's that was in it's path. Clutching her right shoulder she shot her head back to Itachi, who had his hands hanging loosly at his sides and an expressionless mask spread upon his features.

"Gah!" She shuttered out, jolting Chakra once again down to the portals in her feet. She flung at the Uchiha, pain forgotten for that instant.

It took Itachi a total of five minutes and thirteen seconds to beat some sense into Sakura. She was laid out on the soft grass, arms wide and legs spread while she could barely catch her breath from the last hit. He'd sent so much power into that one connection that she'd felt two of her ribs shatter. She hadn't even had the mind to catch herself, she'd simply crashed to the ground, head snapping hard causing a ringing in her ears.

When she did not immediately stand to attack him again Itachi knew she was done. Over the last two months she'd been clinging to her sanity and it had only been a matter of time before he had known something like this would happen. He was just glad he'd been here to shake her out of it and that not some civilian had been on the receiving end. With a long stride that was more of a natural lope than walking he came to look down at his Anbu counterpart.

"Thank you." Sakura uttered as a long shadow came to stretch over her prone form, though shakily at that for the air still wavered in her lungs uncertainly.

"Better?" Though he usually wouldn't have bothered with a response he did know that at times like this a little bit of effort went a long way.

"Much." She gasped, laying a tentative hand against her diafram. The wince in her emerald eyes let Itachi know he'd done his job.

"Find me tonight." Was his parting words, he left the pink haired girl to gather herself up enough to get to the hospital.

-/-

"Jesus, did you get run over by a dozen horse drawn carts or something?" Ino exclaimed as she watched her friend limp into the hospitals main entrance.

"Or something." Sakura replied a bit strained, holding the center of her chest with both her hands because it was the least painful way to walk, though still if she bent the wrong way she could feel a bone poking at her lungs.

"Haru, take over the front, I'm going to bring this patient into the back and give her a few good whacks." Ino told her partner at the front desk rather than asking but that's what you got to do when you were in charge.

Ino did just that, she escorted Sakura to a back room and gave her a good whollop on the crown of her head.

"What was that for!" She exclaimed, not sure if she wanted to tempt removing a hand from her chest to rub at the new sore spot.

"Maybe it's because you only come and see me now when you're injured!"

The squabbling continued as another nurse entered the room, took in the vast bruising, array of shallow but still bleeding cuts and broken ribs, made a tisking sound then left to report to the doctors.

"What exactly were you doing." Ino asked finally, watching her friend wince once again at the effort it took to breath.

It was a long moment as Sakura leaned there against the bare white wall, though there was a bed the last thing Sakura wanted to do was sit and crunch her bones together more. If she could have sighed she would have. "I..." The pause was pregnant, and Ino was sad to see her childhood friend at such a cross roads in her life. "I fought Itachi."

It took a full second for that to sink into the blonds head before she was yelling. "What!"

-/-

The sun had set hours ago when Sakura had finally made it out of the Hospital. Had Ino not practically chained her in that room she would have left a lot sooner. But at least her ribs were fully healed now. It was an amazing thing, being able to heal yourself. The only reason why Sakura had gone to the Hospital in the first place was because she couldn't set her own bones. She had needed the Doctors to re-set her ribs but that was all, she'd already gone to healing the bruising and cuts before the Doctor had had a chance to see her. The rather attractive male Doctor had taken a look a Sakura then at the clip board then to his assistant and knew that he was questioning if the nurse was seeing double because Sakura had healed herself so well in the short amount of time.

Ino had made she that her friend hadn't winced when she pressed against the center of her chest till she would let the pink haired girl go. With a soft hug and a wide smile the blue eyed girl had simply stated. "Don't be such a stranger."

Which Sakura had grinned just as wide and returned the hug, but she didn't answer. How did you answer something like that when you felt as if you were a stranger to yourself?

An hour later Sakura had her legs hanging through the rails of her small balcony, slowly drifting with the faint wind that echoed along the buildings of Konoha. The night was surprisingly cool for summer time in Konoha making the pink haired girl shiver in her pajama's and curl around her cup of tea. She'd already showered, dressed and seeped her tea now all that was left to do was brood, seeming as how she had decided that she wasn't going to find Itachi.

Her long hair hung heavy along her shoulders and back, dampening her white tank top and sending a chill down her spine, she hadn't had the energy to dry it after the shower and so now this was the repercussions. She couldn't remember the last time she'd cut the pink tendrils, so now as it was un-braided it laid down her spine and whispered against the hard wood, her bangs a lone reached the tops of her small breasts.

So much had changed over the last few years, from Tsunade passing in the fourth war which with just the thought of still brought tears to Sakura's eyes because of the sacrifice the old woman had made, to Danzo who's reign had been so short lived and twisted that his face wouldn't even be placed upon the mountain side, to the current Hokage, Naruto the youngest in all of Konoha's history. The Fourth Hokage war had come and passed, Konoha had been laid to waist while thousands had perished.

Sakura let her head rest against the wooden poles of the fenced in balcony, releasing a short sigh. Konoha had been rebuilt, though a smaller image of it's once vast greatness, and on the outer edges there was still the ruin that reminded everyone of a harsh history.

"Why so long in the face ugly?" Sakura simply rolled her eyes up and to the side so that she could take in this new companion. "I heard you got your ass whipped to a pulp."

Scrunching dark pink eyebrows together Sakura found herself gritting her teeth in a very unladylike gesture. "Sai, sometimes I swear..." Her on again and off again team member had always had this disconnect with humanity that bewildered her, he'd been out of Root for the last five years and yet even with the constant interaction of nin and civilian alike there was that strange way he thought he was saying the right thing when no one in the correct state of mind would bother to think of what he did.

"Also heard that you went insane for a little bit." In all reality Sakura couldn't be mad at the twenty to year old, he said these things with such a surety, there was not an ounce of teasing or even taunt in his tone, he was simply Sai.

"You really need to take more classes on Psychology." Sakura replied at last, facing the dark expanse of Konoha once again. "And anyways how did you hear about that?"

"Anbu." Sai replied simply, lowering himself to the floor boards as he did so to sit cross legged. He let both his hands rest on his knee's, no matter how much the boy was out in the sun he never tanned, burned yes, but never tanned, the skin of those hands were pale against his black pants, stark like the moon to night sky.

"Anbu gossips more than a gaggle of teen age girls." And for not the first time that day Sakura found herself releasing a harsh breath, glad her lungs didn't ache.

"Said you also only brought back two heads, so now you're on review." That tea wasn't tasting so inviting anymore so she emptied the rest of it to the three stories bellow her and stood.

Sai looked up at her with innocence clear in his gaze and all Sakura could do was say. "Please, come in, have some tea and tell me what other recent failures you've heard about me."

The sliding glass doors to her apartment had been left open, they lead into a small kitchen, dinning room combo that had the coloration of a bad day. With blue painted walls, off white flower printed tiles and counter tops the shade of burnt orange you saw when clay dried in the desert. To simply put it, the kitchen was an eye sore, she didn't complain though, for the rent was reasonable and in all truth she didn't spend much time here. Though with the review that she was sure Naruto would draw out as long as he could she had a feeling she'd be seeing this clash of colors quite a bit.

"Do you want just the recent?"

Sakura stopped mid stride at that, pausing half way in the room. "Seriously Sai!"

-/-

The hot grey tea had tasted better than the cold cup she'd been brooding over earlier and the two had sat at the small wooden table downing three cups each over the last two hours as they talked. Or rather as Sakura talked and Sai insulted. When they had been fresh partners, Sakura's heart had been so raw from Sasuke's betrayal and Sai hadn't a clue as to how to be subtle that they'd been at each others throats. Now the way Sai stated things so matter of factly had Sakura angry but in a false sense of injustice that simply had her giggling.

She was laughing at the way Sai seemed completely oblivious to the way Ino tried to flirt with him whenever he was at the hospital when the sliding door rolled open to reveal a stoic faced Uchiha.

"Leave." Was all Itachi said as a hello and Sakura wished he was talking to her. Sai simply shrugged a shoulder, placed his cup down on the table and made for the sliding door. Though Sai wasn't on the clock when it came to Itachi he always did what he said, but that was Sai, power and structure was how he'd been raised, knowing nothing else for so long that it was simply ingrained into his soul.

Sakura had been hoping to save this confrontation for tomorrow, when she'd had some sleep and time enough to gather her thoughts but she could see it in the set of his features that the crimson eyes Anbu captain would do this now. He slid the door behind him closed when the other man exited, not looking from the pink haired Kunoichi once.

"Can I offer you some tea?" She offered, motioning towards the still warm kettle upon the ugly stove. _Not even a blink._

She felt herself squirming under that gaze, she was just glad she'd never been on the receiving end of his torture techniques if he could get that much out of her with just a look.

Plopping herself into the back of the chair she couldn't help but raise her hands in surrender. "Ok I get it! I deserve the review." She started, knowing what it was that he wanted from her. "I should have extracted all of the poison from Deidara." She wanted to add, though that was completely from his own stupidity, he deserved what he got, but didn't want to make things worse.

When there was a pause Sakura knew it was not yet enough. "I should have brought each head ba.."

The table she was sitting at decided to take that moment and snap in two as Itachi sliced his short Katana through the wood with one blow. Mouth gaping open Sakura exclaimed. "What the hell.."

"I went to the scene, don't lie to me." His smooth voice was dark, as if a thunderstorm was rolling it's way through the mountains. And Sakura knew she couldn't play this farce any longer.

Lowering her arms, Sakura rose from the chair and straitened out her pink pajama pants, taking the time to ruminate the thoughts she wanted to express. The two heads had belonged to the first two Aibori she'd exterminated, their lives had simply been smothered by Shuriken to the heart. But the other six, those had been the one's she'd taken care of after Deidara had fallen, after she had realized that another baby sitter had been sent after her. She'd been so mad, anger so hot that she'd wanted to snuff their very memories from history. When she'd walked from those fields with the two heads and Deidara there had been nothing but a river of blood and small bits of flesh and bone to hint that they'd ever existed.

"I told Nanadaime they were not salvageable." She stated at last, looking at anywhere but the Anbu leader.

"You forgot to add why." The Katana was no longer in his hands though you would never be able to tell it was on his person for the cloak and his dark clothing hid reality so well. Sakura knew where this was going and felt her stomach tightening sickeningly. "And the fact that you had massacred them was not in your end report."

The soft cloth of her pants bunched in her hands as she grasped it so tightly she thought it might tear. "I don't need a baby sitter!" Her exclamation was followed by more silence, such a heavy silence that Sakura could have sliced it with a butter knife. She had to release her pant legs for fear they really would rip as the seconds ticked by, she could feel a find sheen of sweat start to cling to her skin as she felt the weight of the world press against her shoulders.

"I feel like I am dealing with my childish brother once again." Itachi rolled out at last, his words were so surprising that she met those crimson eyes, reflecting within those depths was a hint of emotion that twisted like a dagger in her heart for Itachi was her captain and he looked down at her with pity.

"Itachi..." She began but found she was at a loss for words.

"Get what you need for a week, you're coming with me." Had Sakura understood at the time what would lie ahead she would have fought harder against his command, but stupid girl she complied easily and jumped to the roof tops with the man disappearing into the night.

* * *

**AN:** Jesus, longest first chapter I've ever posted on any of my stories. I must have caused more questions than answers. First a living Deidara, then a Nanadaime Naruto, while we also have a Sasuke who wanted to try and talk to Sakura? What am I doing to you? The war started after the main characters aged to 17, then the war lasted three years, and it has been two years since Konoha and it's allies came up on top.

Read and Review for the next Chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**The Reason I Hold On**  
By Vanya Atma

_Chapter Two - Looking For Some Other Way To Fly_

* * *

The cost of living is far more expensive than death, a number of times Sakura had contemplated if she really had enough money to continue on. And now, looking at the bare room that Itachi had shoved her into she was sure she didn't have enough coin. With a soft sigh she threw her bag into the queen sized bed, watching as it bounced once on the firm comforter.

The door behind her was locked and sealed, the seal had the feeling of Itachi written all over it and Sakura knew she had no hope of breaking it. She'd come far from the little girl who followed after Sasuke and Naruto uselessly, she had come into her own, with much of the same strengths as the woman who had helped to shape her, Tsunade, but Itachi, well there was simply no describing his ability.

When she'd first started to follow Itachi Uchiha she'd thought they were headed into the forest for some recon, but when they veered towards the southern part of Konoha she had started to suspect. When the tall buildings of the Uchiha compound had come into view, reaching high into the sky as if to touch the very moon, she knew her suspicion's had been in the right context.

"Ita..." She had began, question clear within her tone, but the Sharingan user had cut her off curtly with a simple glare that had her swallowing her tongue.

She had changed out of her pajama's and back into similar clothing as when on the training grounds but Sakura realized that as she took in the room, she should have simply kept her white tank top and pink pants. The _bedroom_ was larger than her own, the bed bigger with four railings that attached to a canopy and a head board that was made of a dark mahogany wood with designs of a battle carved elegantly within it's grain. The floors were wood as well, the same dark coloration, while the walls were painted a red that resembled Itachi's eyes. There were two windows with their black curtains drawn shut within her new room, one to the left of her bed, the other along the same wall as the canopied bed. While to her right there was another door that most likely led to a bathroom, no expenses spared for the Uchiha's.

She'd only seen the Uchiha compound from the outside, when the war had taken to inside Konoha's boarders some of the compound had been laid to ruble, but with both the Uchiha brothers back together their family home had formed back into it's old greatness, if not more so. Itachi had made quick work of bursting through the huge double doors of the entrance to which Sakura had little time to take in the front rooms never mind the long hallways they shot through. Sakura doubted she would be able to remember all the twinning ways in which Itachi had led. But even without the lights turned on Sakura had found her breath completely taken from her lungs and it had had nothing to do with the run here. Uchiha's had no people skills, but as for taste, they had it in excess. She'd seen beauty in every corner, even the ceilings had held something special with light fixtures and paintings upon their dark surfaces.

Sakura surmised that she most likely shouldn't just stand there in the center of her room looking so dumbfounded, so running a hand through her loose bangs she made her way to the window on her left. Drawing aside one of the heavy curtain's she was surprised at what she found. Three feet long by two feet wide was a small alcove that would allow anyone to sit in the sun and read a book to their hearts content. _They really do think of everything._

Bent at the waist and squinting through the window all Sakura saw was darkly colored plants with a building on every side and surmised that this window looked out towards a courtyard of some type. Pressing her fingers along the cool glass a zing vibrated down her nerve endings, it tasted like Itachi and Sakura felt herself sighing again. _Uchiha's thought of everything._

-/-

Sakura was wide awake as the sun came to peak of the horizon, casting everything into a state of pastels, from pink to yellows to purples. If she'd perhaps grabbed some sleep or wasn't locked in the room she would have thought it quite the site. As it was though, she simply felt aggravation at what was presented before her.

Her legs were drawn up to her chest as she looked out the warded window, arm's wrapped around knees and chin resting against hands, that's how Sakura had been sitting for the last few hours after exploring the entire room. The other door had led to a bathroom much like she'd thought it would, though she'd closed the door after opening it. The dark theme teamed with chrome had simply made her shake her head. It was far too pretty to be a bathroom.

All Sakura had for a warning was the sound of heavy boots walking down the hallway before her door was opened, the shinny knob slamming against the wall in a sharp sound. She watched with slight enjoyment as Deidara stood within the doorway slightly dumbfounded, looking at the tidy bed.

"Over here blondy." Sakura said finally, immediately seeing relief wash into sapphire eyes.

"I'm supposed to bring you to breakfast, ya." He replied without hesitation a smile upon his feminine lips.

Unfurling her legs she came to stand, a full five foot two inches and crossed her arms. "Why am I here?"

Laughing a little hesitantly Deidara raised a hand to scratch at his bangs. "Who knows." And with that he shrugged a shoulder to walk out.

The pink haired girl hesitated slightly at the door way, but was surprised to find that there was no boarder between her and the hallway now. She could only shake her head at the oddity of Uchihas.

"You know, the poison was already too far into my system for the Dr.'s to extract, I had to ride it out." Deidara commented offhandedly as he lead Sakura through the long hallways. Early morning sunlight filtered through each of the windows that lined the way, allowing for her emerald eyes to take in more of the detailed interior, though she knew she could look upon the decor for days and still find new breath taking beauty.

"I don't need a babysitter." The curt reply sounded childish even to her own ears but she ignored the look the blond shot her over his shoulder.

As an awkward minute passed between them Sakura couldn't help but find her eyes wondering over the Akatsuki cloak he wore. Why he still chose to wear it, she wasn't sure, Itachi never wore his. The Akatsuki had been squashed with the war, their leader had been killed by the very people who had followed him.

"I can feel your eyes burning into me ya." Deidara said dryly after a moment, snorting in a very unattractive fashion. "Why don't you just ask."

Sometimes Sakura felt as if maturity had skipped over Deidara, but when he spoke like this, she felt as though she was the one lacking. Gritting her teeth she wouldn't let him win this one though. "Why do you bother wearing that cloak anymore."

She could literally hear the smile in his reply. "Because it is quite beautiful is it not."

There was a retort upon her lips but Deidara chose that moment to open a door to his right and walk through. As her foot passed into the room she felt her head craning back to take in everything, the ceiling was up there, of a cathedral make with thick wooden beams bisecting every fifteen feet or so but the roof was mainly made up of glass, letting the bright rays shine on the kitchens array of modernized equipment.

"Jesus." She felt herself whisper, wondering how much this had all cost.

"That's how I felt when I first walked in and that was long before it had been completed." The voice was deep and had a bit of gravel to it. She lowered her attention but not by much because Kisame was one of the tallest men she'd ever encountered. Standing at six feet five inches he was a beast, not to mention the decidedly fishy features.

"You're looking a little grey this morning." Had Sakura not been in a bushy mood this morning she probably wouldn't have said anything, but being locked away put most people on the wrong side of the bed.

Chuckling followed her retort, making Sakura realize that there were quite a few people in the kitchen. A red head popped out from the side of Kisame teasingly. "Agreed, you feeling ok there sharky?"

Sasori barely ducked the large hand that swiped his way, sending up another mass of masculine laughter. Kisame looked tempted to go after the short red head but the puppet master skittered to a large table, nabbing a seat next to a stoic Itachi. Sakura was caught off guard at how normal everything seemed even though the room was filled with past missing nin. It put her gears in halt to see the mad Hidan flipping pancakes at the stove.

Feeling her gaze the grey haired man who wore no shirt but did have a pair of dark grey pants on turned to her, pan in hand and asked. "Hope you like pancakes." That distant grin had the girl taking a step back, not quite sure she believed what she was seeing.

These men, after becoming resurrected had slaughtered Tobi, or rather Obito. That had been the only reason The Fourth Great Ninja War had ended in favor of Konoha.

When Hidan got to reply he simply turned back to cooking, Deidara watching him over his shoulder as he took to sitting on the long island in the center of the kitchen.

"Itachi can I talk to you for a moment?" Sakura said at last. Kisame decided to also grab a seat at the long hardwood table, letting his long frame lazy into one of the chairs.

Those always red eyes came up to meet hers but not a word was spoken in reply. She stared back unwavering, letting her unhappiness sink into her emerald orbs. His right shoulder came up for a shrug at last much to her consternation.

"In private."

"No."

"You really want me to do this here?"

Another shrug.

"You locked me in that room last night."

No reply.

"What do you think you're doing, why are you inviting me to breakfast."

Sasori opened his mouth at that. "Because it's morning time, and usually people are hungry." Did puppets even get hungry? Sakura thought to herself, but at the same time she sent the red head a withered glare.

"I'm leaving." And with that she exited out of the kitchen, leaving the five men to play with themselves.

Sakura was slightly surprised that no one came to drag her back and quite proud when she found her way without a hick up, when she got to her room she was starting to feel suspicious but shoved it off to grab her pack.

The front entrance was just as intimidatingly beautiful as she remembered it, so much so that she found herself circling in it's center, the roof was so far up that she doubted she could see it's end at night, while off to the left was a winding staircase that lead to who knew where and then a number of doors and hallways all surrounded by expensive looking pieces of art, pottery and decor. After her eyes had had their fill she found that the double doors swung open easily, though they must have weighed a few hundred pounds each.

Her foot was on the last step when a voice sounded through her conscious. "You wont make it past the fence." Twisting on her heel she saw that the other Uchiha brother was leaning against the railing of the wrap around balcony. A bland expression upon his pale features. His fishnet shirt reminded Sakura of what Itachi usually wore, though his had bigger holes, to the point where there was only four or five to make it cling to his finely muscle torso. _At one time what that sight would have done to me..._

"When I need your help, I'll ask." She replied bitterly, hefting her bag further onto her shoulder. "And nice nail polish." She added in the end, seeing the black coloration of his fingers.

A simple shrug of his shoulder. _So like his older brother._ "Just trying to help."

"When you find yourself instead of pretending to be someone you're not, then you can help." Was her parting comment, leaving the Uchiha to wallow in that little bitter response.

Five minutes later brought to reality what Sasuke had meant. "Fuck." She swore, shaking her right hand from the resounding pain that echoed up the bones. There was literally a barrier that solidified the fencing that surrounded the compound, rising far above the ten foot rock wall, almost like a dome.

Sakura couldn't see the ward, but when she touch it, there was a spark of a reply that let her know she was not supposed to be doing what it was that she was doing. One of the first things you learned at the academy was that you were not supposed to punch something, you were supposed to punch _through_ it. And that was exactly what it was that Sakura was doing. Trying with her closed fist to crack the barrier with brute force.

Blood leaked from a number of shallow cuts on her hand by the time she realized that it was futile, or rather she realized that from the start but it was also a good way to get out her frustration less she turn crazy again. Sakura was laying on her back, watching the clouds drift by and trying to pick out what they looked like when a dark figure blocked out her view.

"I told you." Sasuke said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Scrunching up her nose Sakura found that she was in fact in a better mood, for her reply wasn't exactly snide. "Yes, thank you."

An awkward silence ensued where Sakura really didn't understand why it was that Sasuke bothered to come near her, it had been his mission, when he was younger to avoid her. Now as of late, at every corner there was the black haired ex team mate. It kinda threw her off.

"That one looks like a flower." Sakura said at last, pointing to a puffy white cloud that looked nothing of the sorts. Sasuke for his part did at least look up.

But those black orbs soon enough were back on her laying form, where Itachi was always wielding his blood line, Sasuke at least only activated his when there was a need. It was just on the verge of getting really awkward when he said. "Your hand is healed."

Raising her right hand she started to nod her head. "I'm pretty good at healing myself." There was a slight smirk to her lips for she had heard something akin to wonder in his tone.

"I always thought you'd work in the hospital or something." Sasuke had let his hair grow out so that it reached past his chest, if he'd had softer features it would have made him look feminine, but he'd been blessed with sharp characteristics.

"And I never would have thought you'd defunct from Konoha." Was Sakura's unfiltered reply, it wasn't bitter though, it was simply stated like a fact.

"You knew why I did the things I did."

That made Sakura gather herself to her feet, she couldn't compare in height any more, she had to tilt her head back to meet the six foot tall Uchiha's eyes. "I really don't think I do. We all know the truth of Itachi now, all you had to do was stay loyal and everything would have played out." Sakura blamed Sasuke for a lot of things, in a way she was grateful that they were having this conversation now, she'd never had a chance to have such with him before.

"Everything happens for a reason." Sasuke said, and Sakura felt as though it was a last ditch effort to try and get her to understand the things he had done.

"Right," She began, walking over to where her bag was on the grass and throwing it on her shoulder. "And we both know that if your best friend wasn't Hokage right now you'd be dead."

-/-

Sakura had thought that she would feel better, having gotten a lot off of her chest with Sasuke, but she didn't. She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to forgive him for what he'd put both Naruto and her through. It was Naruto's own choice to act as if Sasuke had never left, but that was not hers.

The kitchen was empty, though there was still a pile of plates and dishes in the sink that was so odd in the other wise immaculate space. A slight breeze played through the large kitchen, making Sakura look over to the long windows. One of them was wide open, revealing the way into the courtyard Sakura had seen the night before. Clearly nin didn't like doors.

After hoping through the window pan, and fighting her way through large, yellow flowered bushes she came out to a clearing that had to be almost, if not as big as the training ground she was used it. And just likely everything else, it was beautiful.

With all the vibrant colors and diversity it was hard to pinpoint exactly where to examine and enjoy first, just as she was facing the northern most part though she came to face something that had her simply smitten. In two bounding leaps the pink haired girl found herself delighted. The tree was short, it's trunk only a few feet taller than her, but it's branches fanned out a good twenty feet, and the blossoms were so bright that it made Sakura really, truly understand what beauty was.

"It's over a hundred and fifty years old." Came a richly dark voice, the sudden effect mixed with her enchanted wonderment had the Kunoichi jumping a few good inches.

"You need to wear bells or something." She mutters, cheeks flaring red. Sakura hadn't jumped like that since her Genine days.

"You know what the tree is do you not?" Itachi asked and Sakura almost dropped dead at the rarity that he was speaking without great torture.

Sakura dropped her pack at that, raising her right hand that still had dry blood all over it to run a finger along one of the soft flower petals. "A Cherry Blossom Tree."

"A Sakura Tree."

The two stood there, under the canopy in silence, Sakura touching each petal she could and Itachi simply watching. Sakura also took that time to let her thoughts merge with one another. Itachi never did anything without a reason, he was just that strict with himself. But to have the ward in place? First upon her room and then the entire compound. She did not yet want to open her mouth without knowing exactly what it was she wanted to say. They both knew what had happened last time.

At Six foot three inches Itachi had grown even more into his own, though Sakura had always thought of him as older, more mature. Especially in the last two years, since she'd seen much of him in Anbu, she'd come to find him familiar, or at least she could recognize him from afar. His hair was tapered back today, a crop holding the majority of the blue black length from his etched features. He looked like a man this way, unhindered by those long tendrils. She of course had always found both Uchiha's attractive, how could she not? But under that Cherry Blossom Tree Saskura was taken aback at the way the rays filtered through the branches to fall almost lovingly upon his cheek.

"What are you thinking?" Itachi asked, drawing another jerked reaction from the girl.

It took her a moment to answer and when she did it came out slightly breathy. "Just wondering why you've locked me in here."

A single dark eyebrow rose and Sakura knew he didn't believe her for an instant, gathering herself enough she slunked to the trunk of the tree, where the bark was rough and yet smooth at the same time, age having done it's job. Three heart beast past before something unsettling happened.

In the corner of her eye she saw the dark clothing of Itachi's shirt as he came to lean next to her against the tree's bark, then something small and white was presented to her. Itachi had picked a very small, very white flower. "Here."

Her hand hesitated over his, before she finally decided that it was ok to take it from him.

His next words had Sakura understanding completely why he was acting so completely different. "What really happened?"

Like she'd just fallen into the depths of the ocean Sakura felt a cold sense of foreboding wash over her, clamming her up and simply making her draw back into herself. "Read the reports if you really want to know. It's all there." She bit out, turning harshly from the tree and aimed towards her pack.

"Just like your interlude with the eight men yesterday?" The single white flower withered to the grass bellow with his last word followed by Sakura picking up her pack and heading back to the border to see if she could punch a whole through it.

-/-

Three hours later brought a curious red head around. "I bring a peace offering." In front of him Sasori wielded a plat heaped full of food and a large glass of water.

Sakura paused in her examination of the seal's to sit back on her haunches. "I'm not hungry."

Knowing that Sasori was far older than herself mattered little with the way his features pulled down into a frown, making him look as if someone had kicked his puppy. "But you haven't eaten at all today."

Though she could feel her stomach pull slightly from the offered food she knew how she'd feel if she ate. She'd throw up all over the pristine yard. Then again that would piss Itachi off... But no.

"Very astute of you." She growled, resuming her poking at the bloody designs of the seal on the rock wall. Sasori's steps were silent as he exited back into the house.

It had taken Sakura the last two hours to find the seal, mainly because she'd ended up punching it some more, the last hour had revealed little as to the secrets behind it's makeup and the pink haired Kunoichi couldn't remember a time she'd been more frustrated.

"I've fucking been in a war, and this is where I find myself."

-/-

The sun was setting in the horizon when Sakura decided to give up for the day. Well not that she wanted to, but with the waning light she knew she wasn't going to get anything novel done. The April sunset was a vivid one, with bright reds and purples that caste the earth before her in a twilight zone. she stepped through an array of colors getting to the main building.

The front entrance presented not a soul, though in the distance she could smell the succulent scent of more food being cooked and hear the masculine laughter of six men. She supposed that a lot of food went through this house with six fully grown men living here.

She tried her hardest, she really did, tip toeing by the kitchen door, but who was she kidding? Even with the noise they were making one of them was bound to hear her. The door swung open revealing long blond hair and bright sapphire eyes.

"Dinner is just about ready." Deidara said, blowing out a breath of harsh air.

"Thanks." Sakura replied, edging away, down the hall. It had taken her the majority of the day to contemplate what she'd do with herself. Seeming as how she didn't want to be here and yet she had to discover a way out. It would just seem childish to spend the night out in the yard, so she'd come to terms with herself to stay another night in the given bedroom.

"You're not going to eat?" He asked, shifting his head to the side so his bangs didn't hinder his brilliant eyes.

"Not hungry." And with that she made her exit.

-/-

A slight haze had taken to drifting over Sakuras consciousness, her body was tired and so wasn't her eyes, but her mind wanted nothing to do with sleep. She was once again curled up in the window cill, letting her cheek press against the cool glass. As she sat there, drifting in and out of a state of exhaustion a knock so soft she barely heard it drifted to her ears. She was tempted to not answer it, but in the end she voiced. "Come in."

She watched over her shoulder as a grey haired man walked into her room, still not wearing a shirt, his steps were long and lazy as if he didn't have a care in the world. Which she doubted he did. His dark purple eyes were smoldering with something unsaid as he zeroed in on where she sat. "Sasori was having a fit you didn't eat." And it was then that she saw the plate he carried.

Scrunching her nose, Sakura didn't reply. Instead she let the man stand there awkwardly. "I don't know why they put up with you." It had only taken Hidan a total of five seconds to bite out the remark.

Pressing her forehead to her arms her reply came out muffled though she knew the god-like nin would have no problem hearing her. "I've asked to leave." It wasn't her fault she was here.

That caught the bastard off guard, her taking the injured animal way out instead of fighting him. He wasn't used to that. As quickly as he came he left, taking the food with him. All Sakura Haruno could do was sigh. Why did it seem as though everyone was so hostile here?

-/-

Sakura was up before the sunrise again, having once again not slept, just dozed. On her way to the ward she passed a stern faced Hidan but everyone else was on their own.

Sasori once again offered breakfast, coming to where she was frustrating over the seal, Sakura refused the scrambled eggs, though she did take the cup of tea. Lunch came and went much like before, and just like yesterday Sakura was stretched out, letting her mind sooth over from tapping at the seal watching the clouds go by when a shadow stretched over her.

Pursing her lips together she intoned. "I just can't get any time to myself can I?"

It was Itachi this time and Sakura knew something bad was going to happen, seeming as how it always did when he was near. "Loneliness brings contempt. Contempt breeds insanity."

Lowering her brows her voice was filled with something akin to disbelief. "Are you calling me insane?"

"Close enough."

She shook her head. "You would know Uchiha."

"Come."

She tried not to, she honestly did, but the stubborn man had grasped her wrist in an iron grip, pulling her along as he went. She was not willing to fight Itachi so soon and less she start kicking and screaming like a child there was no other option.

Deidara was smiling openly as she was dragged into the court yard, he had an easil, some picture only known to him upon it's surface.

"You're going to paint." Itachi said, thrusting her hand none too gently over towards the blond.

She gave Itachi a look as if he'd just grown a third head. "The hell I am!"

"Your review is over in two weeks. You do what I say and you'll be released then." And then he was gone on a whisper of the wind.

Her mouth was still open when Deidara snorted into the silence.

* * *

**AN:**This chapter is dedicated to mun3litKnight, Sasusakui, angel897, and Chi Ookami for being my first few reviewers; thank you. I hope I did not disappoint you with this chapter. And sorry if I don't have everything perfect, I'm American lol. Because this is my story, there aren't cars or airplanes but by modern I mean like sinks and chrome and full bathrooms are acceptable. It's been about 5 years, so I gave them height accordingly, or not so much.

I've been writing Naruto FF for the past few years, and what this is, I'd have to say is a mixture of everything. Sorry for having Sakura be a little Bi-polar bitch, but there are reason's for that. But remember, if they seem slightly OOC it's been 5 years...


	3. Chapter 3

**The Reason I Hold On  
**By Vanya Atma

_Chapter Three - If You Dare, Come A Little Closer_

* * *

"Looks like a stick figure." Deidara stated dryly, ending his insult with a snort that was more of a chuckle.

Sakura had never thought painting would be so hard. She was able to smash boulders to pieces with just a finger and yet here she was with something akin to a four year olds scribble upon her white canvas. "It was supposed to be a sunset."

For his part, Deidara held most of his composure after hearing that. But another voice peeped in. "I see stick figure."

Sakura could only throw up her blue colored hands in defeat, letting the brush drop to the grass. Sasori had a huge, pearly white smile upon his features, though his eyes were lidded looking as if he was somewhere other than here.

"How is Deidara's any better?" She asked flabbergasted, his was all blob and splat.

The blond and puppet stood next to each other for a moment, their heads quirked to the side slightly and continued to take in her art work. When Kisame joined the party saying pretty much the exact same thing as the other two Sakura gave up, rolling her eyes before stalking away from the threesome.

-/-

Back in her sanctioned room Sakura was already half undressed, her sheer white shirt and black pants with weighted arm bands and leg wraps thrown on the still un-slept in bed. It aggravated her, each of their reactions, she'd actually tried to paint the sky as the sun had set, she'd spend an hour on that damn thing.

"A stick figure my ass." She muttered, attacking the rest of her arm wraps with gusto.

The door to her room slammed open as her fingers were peeling away the steel lined chest wraps, half of her breasts were even sticking out. "The hell!" She found herself exclaiming, grasping for her shirt to cover her feminine parts, which included the spandex shorts that were little more than a strip of flimsy fabric. "It was locked for a reason." Not that she had thought it would deter any of the men in this house, but still the presidency was supposed to be there.

Without a word Itachi stormed into the room, he still wore the black t-shirt and pants from earlier but his hair was loose, fanning out behind him like a cloak.

"Well hello to you too." Sakura pulsed out, hiding none of her displeasure from the tone of her voice. Itachi shoved something onto the bed and as he turned glaring daggers onto her the scent of roasted chicken came to her nostrils. Teeth gritting together she should have known that this would happen eventually. She could only turn down so many meals before a the whole 'me male, take care of female' effect came into play.

"If I was hungry, I would have joined you all in the kitchen," She began, twisting this way and that to re-wrap herself. "You may not realize it, but I do remember where it is." The whole covering herself up thing was starting to look like a loosing battle, with it being in one long strip the only way to really get it tight enough was to wrap it from the very start, it was not meant to be re-wrapped.

Itachi let her struggle for a full minute before he took it upon himself to get things done correctly, as he always did. Not giving the Kunoichi a choice he stepped up behind her shorter frame, grasped her hair that laid in a thick braid down her back, threw it over her shoulder in a sharp move and took hold of the white strand firmly.

When Sakura had felt the heat from another body seep into her back she'd literally frozen, the air within her lungs paused for a long heart beat even while with deft hands her superior tugged and twinned the wrap around her chest. The bitter words that wanted to escape her throat stuck themselves to her tongue while her arms felt like jelly, she was surprised she was still standing when Itachi's wrists brushed against the swell of her breasts. Though small, for she was only a hundred and fifteen pounds, in that one moment her body, more so her breasts seemed over sensitized. As fast as he appeared he was done, tieing off the end with a pull that had her rocking on her heels.

For the first time in a long time she was at a loss for words, it wasn't till Itachi crossed his arms, once again leaning on the side of her bed, that a harsh blush colored her cheeks. She still wasn't wearing pants. Her fingers fumbled as she grasped for the pair she'd thrown on the comforter, not minding in the least that there was a rainbow of color upon it's black surface from her earlier painting lessons.

Once decently dressed Sakura could face the Anbu captain with her usual decorum. She wasn't into Voyeurism, she liked to keep her clothes on when she could, and besides nobody wanted to see her body as it was now.

Because she felt as though she owed him, she did say. "Thank you." Although begrudgingly.

As a reply he motioned to the plate of food with a nod of his chin, Sakura let out a long, suffered sigh. "I have my soldier pills Itachi. You're not getting it, I'm not hungry." She wasn't going to back down from this.

"Those do nothing." Came his rich tone, filling the room with something akin to a death stare could a voice do such.

"They've done me quite well." With that she started to tidy the room, not that it took much, she was only able to gather her weights to place in her pack and fold her shirt to place in her dirty pile that she'd need to wash sometime soon in the corner before she had nothing left to do.

"Once again, you are being childish." He said it as a statement, not an insult and Sakura couldn't find it within herself to rip him a new one. Though there was the temptation of sticking her tongue out at him. _But only if he knew._

"No what is childish, is bringing me here in the first place." Ok maybe she could rip him a new one. "I'm not your problem, I don't see why you don't let me deal with Naruto on my own, he has no right to put me up for review. I was one of the people to place him on that all high and mighty thrown of his."

She'd taken a few steps closer towards Itachi, swaying around the edge of the bed to where he stood without blinking the man took her shoulders in his hands and pressed her to sit against the firm mattress, going even as far as to silence her rebuke by pressing three fingers against her lips. Pinning her with his crimson and obsidian eyes he then dropped the plate into her lap, knife and fork making an X upon the still warm food.

As she had guessed, chicken with gravy and mashed potatoes along with carrots. The soldier pills took the edge off the hunger and gave her at least the basics of what she would need to live, but they were just a substitute, just something to get you by when there was nothing edible around you on a long mission out in the wilds. She hungered for the food but at the same time she wanted nothing to do with it.

But she knew there was only one way to get everyone off her back. Garnering her strength forth, Sakura went to cutting and mowing everything on the plate, or as much as her stomach would allow. She was chewing a chuck of chicken when she felt her body start to reject the food. Prepared, the pink haired girl calmly raised herself, placed the plate on the bed and then ran for the bathroom.

The toilet really was too pretty to be heaving into, but that was exactly what she was doing, retching as if it was her job. She was surprised for perhaps the hundredth time since being locked away when she felt her hair being pulled away from the sides of her face and neck, Sakura would never have said in a thousand years that Itachi would have done something like hold the hair of a sick girl.

Minutes later all the contents of her dinner, along with soldier pills were swirling down, though she dry heaved a few times. Dry heaves were the worst because at least when you did throw up food there was something. Without looking at Itachi, Sakura washed her hands and face, while also she brushed her teeth. He waited patiently for her to do so out in the bedroom, though she could feel him watching her as she stepped to her pack, drew out another two pills and downed them.

"It was what, eight months ago now?" She started, crossing her arms as if to fend off some unknown darkness and looked out the window without really seeing anything. "I was in sand, along the boarder investigating rumors of an Aibori leader. There was a little town, Sunaarashi, only one Well to provide for over three hundred people, it was sacred for if it dried up or something happened to it their way of life there would no longer be." Sakura knew that Itachi had read her reports, every single one of them. But she felt as though if she recited it as she remembered the truth would be easier.

"My target was an older man, one of the founders of the Aibori actually, I was to seek and kill while bringing any heads back from the bodies I killed." Her skin felt cool, the hair along her arms raising to attention even though it was a comfortable seventy three in the bedroom. "Everything up till the point I killed the leader went my way. I took down ten guards before any of them knew what had hit them, but once my Shuriken shot through the Aibori leaders heart my world went black. It wasn't till I awoke to find my wrists cranked above my head and legs pinned to the ground that I realized the entire mission had been a trap. The leader had had some type of seal or," She shrugged her shoulder then, she'd spent every spare hour for two weeks after she'd come back reading everything she could to try and figure out what had happened to her that night. None of the pages or scrolls she'd gotten her hands on had revealed as much as a hint as to what it could have been. "something."

A dry, almost cruel laugh that was filled with anything but mirth left her throat then. "That was the second time I've been captured Itachi." She could feel a sharp hotness pool at her eyes but she'd be damned if she let the tears fall. "The second damn time." The first time had been during the war, though it had been nothing like the Aibori. "Someone up above must really not like me."

Because her hands itched to do something she pulled at the ponytail holding the end of her braid and began undoing it. "I was tortured for six months strait. I thought we were good at torture but the things they did to me..." She was pulling on her hair harder than she had to but the pain almost seemed to ground her. "Needless to say I learned a few things about torture.

"I would have died had I not been able to heal myself." Her hair undone, the warm cloak of the length was a reassuring thing along her shoulders. "The worst thing though, for everything they had done to me, from burning my flesh to gory gashes along my back with whips was when they gutted me."

Sakura didn't know what came over her then, but she found her hands on the wraps, once again undoing them but this time not caring that Itachi stood silently behind her. "It's not in the records because I didn't go to the hospital for it but this is why I don't eat, why I can't eat." Holding her breasts with one arm she turned then, letting the light from the ceiling fan lay the truth to those crimson eyes that would miss nothing.

Her stomach was a disaster, most notable was the two inch thick line that bisected the center of her stomach horizontally, the scar was puckered, having healed wrong over and over, if one looked close enough you could see where each time her skin had been sliced and then healed only to repeat. "I think I lost track at ten times," There were smaller scars as well, as if someone had carved designs into her flesh but each one led off of that main path. "Have you ever seen your own intestines flailing out of yourself?

"They had wanted to leave me to bleed out, I wouldn't have died right away," She paused then, letting a rye smile curve her lips. "You know, you don't actually have to have your intestines inside your body to live." For his part Itachi was a good listener, his features never turned to disgust as she had expected. "In those six months I said nothing, no matter the pain they forced me to endure, I gave nothing away." Upon her return she'd been questioned, Naruto had given her a huge hug but after that he'd sent her to be put under and interrogated. "Though each time," Another laugh left her throat, sounding as if the entire world weighed upon her shoulders. "Though each time I was re-opened I wanted to tell them anything, everything.

"So here I am, half my insides gone with a stomach that can only handle soldier pills." Sakura was proud of herself when she was able to keep her head high as she walked with a purpose to the shower. "So if you could get off my back about the whole eating thing, that would great." She had little expectations that it would actually happen, but miracles did come around once every other blue moon.

-/-

Steam curled out from the archway as she opened the bathroom door into her room, she'd taken such a hot shower her skin was still pink from the effects. The fluffy towel she'd wrapped around herself was soft and supple, though she had expected no less. Itachi was gone, and so was the plate, her bed looking as if no one lived here still.

Twenty minutes later found her in a pair of black shorts and baggy white shirt laying on that bed, though the covers were still folded. Sleep didn't want to come to her, as per usual. Though this time it seemed more from her conversation with Itachi than her body actually feeling tiered. She'd been surprised that she hadn't fallen victim to the tears that had verged on the edge of her lashes, or that flash backs didn't rack her soul from conjuring so much of her entrapment to the forefront.

Five minutes after that brought a sharp sigh from between her lips and the pink haired girl walking down the hallway on the tip of her toes so as to not awake anyone. Not a single light was on, though she was lucky that the moon was close to full to shed some silver rays down her path. The kitchen itself had an almost ethereal atmosphere when she stepped into it from the wash of phantom pale moon beams that reflected off of the shiny surfaces.

She couldn't hold the small chuckle that escaped her lips when she saw the pile of dishes in the sink, they were not the same as before, but obviously the men here didn't like washing them. A tea pot already sat on the stove, which she filled and set to heating in quick order but the tea bags were harder to find. She had to dig through half a dozen drawers and cabinets before she found an array so large she rocked back on her heels.

"Black." Filtered a voice through the darkness, making Sakura almost drop the tea bags she had in her hands to the floor.

"You really need to wear a bell." She replied, rolling her eyes even with her back turned to him.

Turning the flames off before the boiling water whistled she poured the two of them tea, hers decaffeinated grey, his harsh black. Itachi had changed into a white tank top, the cotton metearial so thin you could see the outlines of his muscles, while he had on a pair of dark gray pants that hung loosely on his hips. She didn't know what to make of this as she handed him the mug. He almost looked approachable in his pajama's.

He didn't thank her, not that she had expected him to, though he did nod his head in a single sharp motion. The two of them stood at the island, Sakura blowing at the steam that drifted up from the seeping water while Itachi downed his without a problem. Made of marble there was an undercurrent of some kind of sparkle that reflected in the moon light, looking as if a hundred thousand stars were entrapped within the islands surface.

Time stretched on, things going unsaid between them, the silence wasn't exactly awkward but Sakura still found herself looking into the murky liquid as if it held the answers to life itself. The long length of her hair was loose, half damp by her shower and fell over her shoulder, drifting along the black marble as if tiny dancers were putting on a show though she was sure she looked half insane for she hadn't racked a brush through it.

"It wont get better." Itachi said, his rich voice melting into the shadows. "You'll have to continue doing things that brake you to protect the ones you've sworn yourself to."

_How could you be so stupid?_ The thought raced through her mind as the tea in her stomach settled heavily. Itachi had had to kill his entire clan, _his parents._.. How Sakura could have compared her torture to what this man standing before her had had to do... In that one moment Sakura truly realized how childish she had been this entire time. Itachi had gone through so much worse, and yet there he was, the Anbu captain with a firm grasp on reality.

Once again at a loss for words Sakura brought her now empty cup to the sink and washed it out, laying it on the tan towel on the counter to dry over night. "I'll be here in the morning for breakfast."

-/-

And she was, the next morning Sakura was the first one in the kitchen, cooking eggs, bacon, sausage and toast. When Sasori walked into the softly lit room she didn't think his eyes could get any bigger, he didn't comment on anything, just took a seat at one of the stools that hid under the island and watched her cook away. Deidara was in next, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes still, though his hair looked as perfect as ever.

"Do you ever have a bad hair day?" Sakura asked, catching him off guard with the half sleep still clinging to him.

His 'uh' came out flabbergasted and he looked from Sakura behind the stove to Sasori half a dozen times before continuing. "Rarely."

"She actually does dishes too." Kisame stated wryly, letting his sharp teeth glint in a wide Cheshire grin. First thing she'd done when she'd come into the kitchen was the dishes that had been in the sink, leaving them to dry along with her mug from the night before.

By the time she was finished with the bacon she had a line of men behind her or rather four men seated at the island, Hidan had simply mumbled something under his breath and claimed his own seat. The brothers were still to be seen.

Taking a step back from the feast she had just made Sakura was worried she'd cooked too much. But fifteen minutes later she was worried she'd cooked not enough. "How do you even keep food in here." She'd asked bewildered at how they shoveled it down.

"Deidara and I go shopping, a lot." Sasori replied, mouth half open around his fork. Sakura found her brows drawing together at the questions that brought. Such as where did a puppet put all the food? But she didn't want to ruin the moment.

At first she'd told them to save some for the people who's house they were staying in but Hidan had replied. "They are gone, on a mission."

That news had had her gritting her teeth but after her little self realization last night she'd counted backwards from ten. She was slightly peeved that no one had bothered to say bye or tell her what was going on.

After everyone was done she did dishes again, much to each of their enjoyment. Sasori and Deidara took their leave first, claiming they would have to do what they'd said they do, go shopping. While Hidan mumbled something again and followed quickly after them.

She was left to clean a few more dishes with Kisame, she could feel his unsettling gaze on her as she washed away but kept her comments to herself.

Just as she was placing the last of the mornings mess down Kisame spoke. "Come fishing with me."

-/-

And that's how Sakura Haruno found herself with a pole in hand, sitting under a large willow hoping for the biggest fish in the pond next to a man she had once considered her enemy.

"Who has a lake in their house?" She'd asked, raising her hands in amazement. Technically not in the house, but the lake was behind the main building, stretching till all she could see were teeny tiny trees on the other side.

"Uchiha's but I'm not complaining." The two fell into a lull, enjoying the simple way that the sun reflected against the clear water while wild birds twittered their songs upon the wind. In those fleeting moment Sakura actually felt as though she didn't have a care in the world, as if she wasn't Anbu, as if she wasn't sworn to protect her loved ones, as if she'd never felt the sting of metal slicing through flesh.

-/-

A week went by like this, of the men taking turns keeping her occupied. At first she didn't notice it, just accepted what ever idea they threw at her, from Sasori's idea of fun which consisted of playing with puppets, to Deidara once again forcing her into an art lesson, though the clay went much better than the painting. Kisame took her fishing twice more but it wasn't till Hidan offered to do something with her that she'd started to suspect something.

Sakura didn't press the seal issue again, for what else would she do? She was on review and other than Anbu she didn't have a life. So she'd kept her mouth zipped and let things happen as they happen.

It was exactly seven says since Itachi first locked her away, the rain chose to pour big drops upon the earth, while thunder rumbled in the distance and lightning crackled through the angry grey clouds. The kitchen table looked as if a tornado had rampaged over it, from the flour that skittered white lines along it's rich surface to the two cracked eggs that dripped from Deidara's shirt. Kisame had his arm pointed at Sakura who was sticking out her tongue at the tall man as he tried to blame her for the eggs. Deidara had the two egg yokes mixed with flower in hand and was just about to fling it at the grey skinned man when a dark tone drifted into their fun.

"Deidara." And that was all it took for the laughter to die from everyone's lips.

Standing just in the door way was a cloaked figure, hair clinging heavily to his cheeks and dripping to the floor with rain. Itachi was pinning each of the men, Deidara, Sasori, Kisame and even Hidan with his bright red eyes. "Why is my kitchen a mess." It really wasn't a question, but the hidden storm that underlain within his voice had Sakura on the verge of giggling. Or maybe it was the four shots of Sake settling into her veins.

"We...uh...were...that is...we..." Deidara tried to explain, at a loss for what they'd been doing.

"We are making a cake Itachi." Sakura answered for him when his tongue had seemed to be stuck in his teeth.

Those swirling red orbs landed on her then and if Sakura hadn't been close to drunk she would have fallen dead with the effect. "Don't be such a party pooper." She added with a frown. Then the weirdest thing happened, dipping her hand into the big container of flower she cupped a mound of the white powder and the next moment she found herself grinning up at the six foot three man.

His dark eyebrows were raised, as if to dare her to try, which she did. In a cloud of white the flour stuck to Itachi's black fishnet shirt, black pants and black cloak. Sakura got half of it on herself, coughing up a hair ball in the process. A heavy weight settled upon the group as they waited to see what Itachi would do, Sasori covered his eyes with his hands as if to shield himself of the gore that would surely fall while Deidara gasped and Hidan stood there with a shit eating grin on his smooth features.

* * *

**AN:** I know how dare I leave the story like this! Sorry for any confusion, I just didn't want it to be completely obvious till Sakura came to accept it. But yes, she was captured during the war and tortured. She became Anbu during the war, but after her capture something broke inside of her, time healed her but she was once again taken by our main bad group, the Aibori, which if you read in the last chapter, she's been back from that for two months just about. So that is the reasoning behind her having such a short string on reality or her sanity really. And anyone notice she doesn't eat? That was explained here too. I usually update the chapters as I finish them, the first chapter was worked on over two days while the second only a day, so I'm sorry if there is grammar or spelling errors I tried to catch them the best I could. But who's going to complain about updates? This Chapter is named after one of Rianne's songs. Though I was also tempted to name it 'Need Someone To Numb The Pain' from the song Stay High by Hippie Sabotage. Great Song.

Deidara and Sasori are here for a kind of comic relief, I always pictured them as working foolishly off of each other. Kisame, well he is just him and Hidan, I don't know I contemplated leaving him out of this, but making him do things he doesn't want to do? Sounds like fun. Sasuke is trying to say something to Sakura but as you can already see it always fails, maybe he'll get it right one of these days. I know it seems kinda like Sasuke bashing, but it's not what I'm trying to portray at all. And just because this is a SakuXIta Pairing doesn't mean they know that, mwaaahaha, never know Sakura could have a thing for Deidara or Kisame at first...

_Aibori_ - means Ivory, hence their white attire in Chapter One.

_Sunaarashi_ - Means Sandstorm

Longest Authors Note ever but...

JustCallMeWhatever - Let me know what you're confused about, I didn't mean to D:

mun3litKnight - You've come back!

Q-e17 - Thank you, Thank you!

angelbabygirl36 - Was this quick enough for you?


	4. Chapter 4

**The Reason I Hold On  
**By Vanya Atma

_Chapter Three - For You Can Not Relive Your Memories._

* * *

Sakura ended up alternating between giggling and coughing as the heavy silence continued on, though she never noticed the burning weight as she tried to wipe at her own pale pink shirt where some of the powder had fallen. One moment she was standing there in bare feet with a haze of happy buzz upon her brain while the next she felt herself lifted into the air. In a rush her breath left her lungs as her diaphragm cracked against a hard shoulder. Upside down Sakura found herself getting a ride from Itachi, albeit an uncomfortable one. His long stride had her bumping against his back, head lolling and hands slipping till all she could grab was his tight ass to keep her from falling face first into his cloak. The fact that she was grabbing the Anbu leaders ass didn't fail to comprehend in the pink haired girls mind, making her giggling harder than she had ever before.

"She's drunk Itachi!" She could hear someone exclaim and it was nice to know she wasn't the only one who realized she wasn't a big drinker. Then again when you ate nothing.

She heard things crashing to the floor but didn't care instead she gave a good squeeze to the firm muscle that made up Itachi's ass and that was the last thing she did before her entire body was swinging around. Deidara's hands shot out to catch her head before it cracked against the table as Itachi laid her none too gently on the table.

It wasn't till something glared in the pale light of the kitchen that Sakura's laugh died on her lips for Itachi had drawn his short Katana. She thought for a moment and so didn't everyone else that he was going to kill her. Deidara shouted out something, Sasori covered her torso with his arms, Kisame stood rock still while Hidan found the proceedings quite amusing.

Itachi pinned Sakura with a look so chilling she felt it roll up her spine but then something peculiar happened. He turned slowly, placed his Katana upon the Kitchens Island, shed his cloak and flashed himself to the hard wood table, straddling her hips and pinning her arms her eyes widened as she saw the container of cake batter in his hands.

"Itachi no!" She screamed as the warm, gooey liquid slowly drizzled over her, from neck down. "Not the hair!"

-/-

Itachi never should have released her after getting the batter in her hair, for she'd gone after him with sticky fingers, leaving a hand print of Vanilla cake on his chest. And after than no one was safe. Sakura chased Sasori as he tried to fend her off by slipping under the table and around the Island, but she'd caught him in a bear hug as perseverance had won out sharing the mess with him. Kisame had Deidara screeching like a girl as he threw flower in his perfect hair, causing the blond to execute his revenge with a beratement of eggs, one cracking on Hidan which lead to the grey haired man grabbing a handful of batter and slathering it all through both Kisame's and Deidara's hair.

Noticing that the men didn't go after Itachi Sakura took the distraction to sneak up on the Anbu leader, hands full of batter from her own body. She ruined the surprise attack though, for she was giggling maniacally before she reached him. Itachi crossed his arms as she got closer, once again daring her. Sakura snorted, he should have realized the first time that she'd call any of the bluffs he wanted to throw at her. At least while she was drunk.

Sakura frowned slightly as Itachi let her run a hand down his chest, the opposite as the first time though longer to smear it. She heard the shell crack before she felt the egg run down the side of her head, understanding compelling her then. He'd baited her!

-/-

Twenty minutes later Itachi had a drunk girl in his arms and was catering her off to bed while he left the other men to clean up. They grumbled and complained but found the paper napkins and cleaning supplies.

"No." Sakura slurred out, clinging to Itachi's shoulder when he tried to place her on her bed. "No, floor."

Stubborn as ever he dropped his arms out from under her, she would have fallen to the bed too had she not also wrapped a hand through the long black hair at the back of his neck, making him quickly catch her once again. Sakura didn't notice how their fronts were mashed so closely together, she was too worried about her feet dangling in the air. Itachi on the other hand was all too aware and had his lips drawn into a deep frown.

"Put me on the floor." She whined, kicking her feet like a child. Finally he did as she wanted and as his arms left with their support she swayed this way and that almost tipping to meet the carpet intimately but her ninja skills kicked in then allowing her to keep herself vertical.

"Bed." Itachi commanded but drunk Sakura shook her head fervently, dancing out of distance of the hand he shot her way.

"Shower!" And with that she started undressing, throwing her pink shirt to the floor to reveal her chest wraps.

"Sakura." Itachi growled darkly never had he thought he'd be chasing after a girl to put her clothes back on.

"Itachi!" A drunk girl was a flighty thing, for she was up and over the bed to the other side of the room before he could grasp her. She had her pants off next and Itachi knew then that this was happening.

"You're going to regret this in the morning!" He yelled after her as she skittered to the bathroom in nothing but her white booty shorts.

Cursing came from the dark room as she tried to turn on the shower without light, knocking knees, elbows and head on everything. Itachi snorted but took mercy on the drunk girl and flipped on the switch. Reflexively she hissed, bringing her arm arm up to protect her eyes and all Itachi could do was shake his head in disbelief. More cursing came when she jumped in the shower too soon, washing her body in cold water. There was an awkward moment where Itachi had to contemplate what to do, but as he heard the pink haired Kunoichi slip into the wall of the shower he knew he would stay to make sure she didn't drown. He let his tall frame lean against the bathroom counter with arms crossed to wait out the shower.

Though when the pair of wet panties were flung over the shower curtain to plop on the tiled floor in a wet, splat of a sound he was truly tempted to leave her to her own devices.

After a few minutes a head poked out from the side of the black curtain. "Pstt! Pssttt! Itachi!" Sakura whispered though her voice was anything but quiet.

She didn't stop her pestering till he raised his eyebrows in question. "You need to take a shower too!" She stated as if it was a grand idea for them to take a shower together.

He wanted her to be embarrassed about her actions, not horrified. Each time she invited him into the shower he coaxed her to continue on even though he could feel the cake batter drying on his skin, the fishnet had been very little protection against such an attack.

She was quiet in the shower for so long he thought that she might have drowned but the water died then and a very pink, very naked Sakura Haruno stepped out. All Itachi could do was smile and shake his head while handing her a towel.

She didn't take it though, she actually threw it back at him. "No! You need to shower!"

And that's how Itachi found himself taking a shower in Sakura's bedroom, just so that she would cover herself. He of course kicked her out and locked the door, after the handle rattled once she didn't try to get back in.

A quick five minutes later he was stepping out with just his boxers on, the shirt and pants were covered in cake. He made quite the sight, a six foot three man with thickly defined and yet long etched muscles that were surrounded by strait, hip length jet black hair. Sakura was no where to be found to admire though. The bed was empty, Itachi even looked under it.

A groan came from the far window just as Itachi was tempted to go on a man hunt. He found the pink haired girl with her head against the cool glass and eyes closed, mumbling something about purple bunnies.

This had been the strangest night for Itachi in a very, very long time.

Slipping a hand under Sakura's knees and then the other behind her back he was glad for the damp towel that was wrapped around her naked body. For the first time in a long time the dark red comforter and sheets were pulled back while half the pillows were thrown to the floor for comfort. Just as he was drawing the last blanket up though Sakura's green eyes popped open, looking for all the world as if she was about to cry.

"Don't go." She whispered, a true whisper this time, voice so tiny he could barely hear her.

Itachi went to draw away but she captured his hand in hers, holding tight. "Please."

And if Itachi had been a stronger man he would have left.

-/-

Sakura came to slowly, crawling out of the hung over stupor with a greater effort than it should have taken. "My head." She grumbled bringing both her hands to hold it.

"You snore you know." Said a voice that had her eyes popping open and a yelp on her lips.

Sasori was sitting at the end of her bed, glancing up at her from the little puppet he held in his hand.

"What are you doing in here!" She exclaimed, throwing a pillow at his red hair.

He blocked the puffy thing easily. "Itachi told me to make sure you kept breathing."

And that's when her antics of last night came to the forefront. Hopelessly she fell back to the bed, shoving a pillow on her face she screamed.

Sasori informed her that it was already past noon once she was done, all Sakura could do was gape openly at him. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept never mind slept soundly and till noon at that! As memories from that night before assaulted her she found herself burrowing under the blankets to hibernate for the next twelve years.

"DidIreallygrabItachisasslastnight." She mumbled out mouth smothered by blankets and embarrassment.

"Among other things." The puppet master replied cheerily.

Sasori left long enough for Sakura to take a quick shower and brush her long hair which had been looking quite out of sorts but had promised to be back. She was just putting on her shirt when a rap sounded at the door.

"You mean someone is bothering to knock?" Sasuke opened the door then, just enough so that half of his lean frame showed through.

"Would it hurt you to wear something other than black?" It came out snide even to her own ears, Sakura doubted she'd get over her loathing for Sasuke Uchiha anytime soon.

"I do, grey's, whites and red." Sasuke's voice had matured over the years, he still sounded the same as she remembered as a child, but there was a deepness to him now that rumbled in his chest before he spoke.

Though Sakura had been kept busy by the men in the house for the last week she really hadn't been able to train as she was so used to. She'd brought with her the hundred pound weights and as she replied to Sasuke she went to her pack to grab them. "So you match the home decor."

Sakura couldn't remember the number of times she'd put on her own gear, she'd had to do it in her Academy years as well because both her parents had passed when she'd been young and none of her family lived anywhere close. To simply put it, thousands.

Sasuke stood there stoically as she took a seat on the unmade bed to start wrapping the weights on each of her limbs. The forearms were first, left then right, one of the advantages to the weights was it called for Sakura to surge soft currents of chakra to her arms and legs to still be able to function, it exersized her chakra control as well, for if she used too much her limbs swung all over the place like a crazy.

Ignoring the black and white person of her former team mate it wasn't till she was about to wrap her calves that Sasuke made it so she couldn't continue doing so. "Let me." And then warm hands were grasping her skin making Sakura glad she had just shaved her legs.

"What are you doing?" She asked dumbly, because it was obvious. Sasuke Uchiha was helping her with her leg guards.

Too shocked to know what else to say she could only sit there numbly as with a firm tug he finished her left leg and moved to the right.

"Sakura," He began, pausing with his hands over the other weight. It was so odd to see him kneeling before her with his head hung. "I'm sorry." Sakura didn't think she could have been any more taken aback had a dozen elephants crashed through her room in that moment.

"F...for what?" Stumbled out her reply.

In harsh movements Sasuke slapped the weight onto her calf and wrapped the white bands almost too tightly before snapping back to his full height. He was just about to slip out the door when he shot back. "For everything."

-/-

Sakura's head swirled as she flung one Kunai after another, solidly landing each above the next in the dummy of the training room. While in the shower that morning she had promised herself never to drink again, she hadn't had much but you were not supposed to mix the soldier pills with alcohol for it intensified the effects. Her own damn fault.

Sweat kissed her skin dewing the tan flesh till her hair was heavy at the nape of her neck and she had to wipe it away from her eyes with the back of her hand. She'd already run through the obstacle course that had more jumps, walls and tunnels than even the Anbu had; Nothing but the best for the Uchihas. Where they got all the money she didn't know and didn't care to ask. She simply enjoyed.

She'd also stopped questioning why Itachi still had the seal up even though she doubted she'd ever find out. It took time but letting things go came easier when you had something to distract yourself with.

"Catch." The single word had Sakura spinning on her heel, barely grasping the end of the Katana that Itachi threw at her before it sliced it's way into her stomach. Reflexively she let out an 'Oomph' that was followed by a blush that colored her cheeks a pretty red.

Her eyes shot anywhere but at him, hoping to fall on another body but she was a lone with Itachi in the dome of a building.

If Itachi noticed the doe like expression upon her softly curving features he didn't comment on it, instead he raised his slick black sword till it was even with her pert nose. "Come at me."

What was a Kunoichi to do when presented with such a challenge?

For the first five minutes Sakura let her embarrassment over take her fighting, Itachi pulled back some swipes at the last moment so they only nicked her flesh, leaving a rivulet of sliced skin in it's wake. But when he almost took her head off he darkly swore and stuck the tip of his blade into her torso, right where he'd broken her ribs the first time. She froze, the blade was barely in, just a half an inch, the pain was sharp but cleared her haze. After that she blocked and attacked, running her blade down his and even managed to slice his side once, just a shallow cut but still satisfying.

"How are you not feeling this!" She exclaimed, jumping back from the center of the fight to place her hands against her knees and catch her breath. She was drenched in sweat while Itachi wasn't even winded.

As a reply he raised his arms even with his chest and Sakura growled in frustration. _She was so stupid sometimes!_ In quick order she threw off the extra two hundred pounds, immidiatly feeling the effects through her entire body. She flung herself back at him, sword in both hands this time to see if she could brake that smirk of a smile from his features.

An hour later they were both laying in the grass outside, right beside the lake looking up into the clear blue sky and listening to the soft lapping sound of the lake against the shore.

"That's how you kicked my ass so well last week." Sakura admonished, thinking back to when Itachi had beaten her to a pulp. She'd had her weights on then too. He snorted a reply that suspiciously sounded like a laugh.

As the minutes drew long Sakura started to feel awkward again till she had to open her big mouth. "Hey, sorry about last night."

"No matter." Itachi had his arms drawn up above his jet blue hair and while her head was turned to look at him from this angle those biceps looked deceptively huge.

"But really," She couldn't let this go. "I didn't meant to uhm." And she felt herself blushing once again. "Touch you like that." She finished at last.

He snorted again, a soft sound in the wind. "If anything you should apologize for trying to rape me."

That brought her eyebrows sky high and her body sitting up board strait. She'd known she'd done some things, but an ass grope wasn't even close to that. "What are you talking about?"

He peaked open a single crimson eye. "You asked me to sleep with you."

Green eyes grew so round Itachi thought they might pop out. "No I didn't." She whispered fiercely.

Itachi, the king of torture closed his eye once again, enjoying the sun's warm rays upon his skin and didn't reply.

"O no! No you don't!" She wasn't going to let him do this to her. "You will answer my question." And with that she started poking his side, right above where she'd nicked his skin which was still gooey with blood.

At the fourth poke he caught her hand in his, so fast she didn't even see him twitch. "Don't worry, your virginity is still intact." And with that he left her to stew in her own mind.

As the day proceeded she remembered more of that night, as a lot of drunks do, her memories clearing up with each tick of the clock. By the time the sun was setting she was so flustered and embarrassed that she tried to press the seals again. Though that did nothing. _She'd actually asked Itachi to stay with her in her bed. _

-/-

Three days later and she still couldn't remember if Itachi_ had_ staid. She hadn't had a chance to ask him either, Itachi had been as elusive as sleep, she'd only seen him two or three times in the last few days. Though his brother had been at every corner, practically stalking her to talk. She'd shot him down every time, she didn't want to deal with any more drama.

Sakura hadn't told the other men about her stomach issue's no one pressured her to eat anymore, not even Sasori who was surprisingly like a mother hen. So when the smell of cooking meat met her nose she decided she would at least try. She'd taken companionable offers from Deidara, Sasori and Kisame whenever she could, Hidan was himself, saying that his god needed him which simply had everyone rolling their eyes. Sasori and Deidara were the only two in the Kitchen when she walked in, talking quietly to each other. Sasori was cutting lettuce while Deidara had a cucumber that was half eaten.

"There's not going to be anything left if you keep eating it!" Sasori was saying, stealing the green veggy from the blond.

"So do you two just live off of the Uchiha's or something?" Sakura asked, taking a seat at the island.

Sasori grinned broadly in that weird smile of his while Deidara snorted. "We work."

Raising her hands defensively she explained her question. "Well I just always see you around here."

The puppet master shrugged a shoulder and replied. "We are Anbu like you, just on a little vacation."

She had a single pink brow raised while she tilted her head to the side. Yes she was Anbu but just because you were Anbu didn't mean you knew everyone who was one, the only ones privy to that was the council and Hokage, ok well maybe Itachi as well. But you were in no way supposed to share the fact with anyone, only the higher ups were allowed to dictate if it was needed. "You're not supposed to share that." She said awkwardly.

Deidara snorted again. "Then lock me up and throw away the key."

"Go ahead and tattle on us if you want." Sasori replied and it almost sounded like a dare.

"She doesn't have to." Itachi's smooth velvet voice drifted into the Kitchen making both the boys duck their heads as if the fires of god would fall and strike them dead right then and there.

Sakura swung her attention to the elusive Uchiha, surprised that he was gracing them with his presence. There was a stiffness to the way he took a seat at the table, his usually smooth movements were jerked and slowed as if he was older than his twenty six years, her lips were peaked open to question it but at the last moment she drew it back, thinking better to do such while the other men were here.

When dinner was ready the last three men appeared as if by magic, Kisame grabbing a plate and heaping it full of beef, green beans and mashed potatoes before anyone else. Sakura was up, filtering in behind Sasuke, she could tell that everyone was surprised but thankful that no one made a big ta-doo about it. She was sure that something was not quite with Itachi when he grabbed his food, favoring his right leg.

At the table small talk was made, though it only consisted of Deidara and Sasori. Sakura's plate was a portion of any one elses, minimal that she mainly pushed around, but at least she was able to down some of the delicious food without her stomach rebelling. Everyone had their usual spot, but they two brothers made room for her between them.

Nibbling on a piece of beef Sakura decided to pipe in one the conversation. "So why are you four staying here?" Her question was meant for the bomber, the puppet, the shark and the self proclaimed god.

Each looked to Itachi then Sasuke as if trying to find how to answer it. Finally Deidara spoke. "I mean, we are past Akatsuki members." He shorted in that way of his. "Most civilians in leaf don't want us around. Itachi and Sasuke offered us a room, we took them up on it."

The answer had been right in front of her face the entire time, so completely obvious; She wanted to bang her head against the wooden table but refrained if just barely. She kept her mouth shut for the most part after that.

-/-

Sakura had wanted to offer to wash dishes but when Itachi took his leave far sooner than when everyone had finished she held her tongue. Itachi was one of those men that if something hurt they would put it off till it was life threatening and even then...

She quickly dumped the rest of her meal in the trash and placed her plate in the sink next to Itachi's, claiming a stomach ache so she could find the red eyed man. His form had already disappeared when she made it to the hallway and that started her problem, seeming as how she'd never been to his room before or heard the other men talk about it.

That's where her Kunoichi skills kicked in. Well not really. It's where her years of knowing the Uchihas kicked in. Because where would a egotistical man like Itachi want his room?

Tip toeing in her bare feet up the spiral stair case in the huge entry way Sakura felt a bit of nervous excitement at what she was doing. Stalking the infamous Itachi Uchiha.

"What are you doing?" Came his smooth voice when her toe touched the top step making her jump slightly.

"Jesus! Bells Mr!" She breathed out, catching his darker form in the shadows to her right. She never had realized that there was a balcony like area at the top of the steps, it over looked the beauty of the entry way with huge windows for a view out into the courtyard as well. There was seating for a dozen in rich cranberry leather seats while there were also a few complimenting coffee tables. The rug was soft under her feet and such a dark grey it almost looked black.

Itachi sat in one of those chairs, lounging with his back slumped in the chair and legs extended out. "It's kinda scaring me how well your house is designed and colored Itachi."

There was no reply, which kinda upset Sakura, she'd been getting a lot out of him but now this whole avoiding thing was grating on her nerves. So much so she placed her hands on her hips and huffed out. "I know you're hurt."

Stoic silence ensued. Apparently she had a death wish for she stalked to the prone form of Itachi and hiked her leg back, intent on kicking some sense into him. Just as she was about to connect he shifted, catching her leg in his hands. "So what if I am?"

Force was something an Uchiha respected it would seem. "You should go to the hospital." He let her leg drop slowly, slipping back into his previous position which had Sakura actually standing between his thighs. She held the blush back, but just barely. She was quite impressed with herself when she stood her ground even.

"Fine, you stubborn old man." She began, swiping her pink bangs from her face so she could pin him with a harsh look. "I'll take a look at it, see what I can do."

He let her stand there awkwardly for so long that Sakura thought she may have to use blunt force to get him to let her check out the wound she knew would be there but just as she was about to brake he stood. Itachi was so much taller than her that she barely came up to his collar bone, his groin was even with her hip bones and that made her yelp, scrambling back.

The chuckle that slid through the shadows had her stomping after him, down a long hall with her fists clenched. Would she ever get the upper hand?

At the end of the hall was a single door that Itachi opened, it was almost completely pitch black but before Sakura could ask for light he turned a switch on, casting a very soft light into the room. Greedily she let her senses take in the place that Itachi called his own. Double the size of hers, his bedroom had some actual color, even if it was just a deep blue with pale grey accents. His bed which was in the center of the entire room took up a great deal of space, most likely king if not bigger. He even had a couch along the far right wall, large enough to seat four comfortably. Everywhere you looked was art, from large paintings to delicate carvings on a huge, intricate shelf to her left.

"No expenses spared here either." She muttered, wishing she'd had just a fraction of what they did. Anbu paid well, but not that well, you became Anbu to protect those who could not protect themselves, not for the money.

She was so enthralled with the room that it wasn't till Itachi cleared his throat that she looked to him again, and what she saw made her want to turn and tuck tail out of there. Itachi stood there in the room, a tall masculine presence with his pants unzippered and half way down his legs.

"I...Uh..." She could feel her brain shutting down, why was it that she could kill a man and yet when it came to the sexual aspect she had no hope?

Though the moment she saw the bandage on his upper thigh all her embarrassment washed away, her years under Tsunade coming to the forefront. The great Slug Princess had been renown for her ability to heal and before she'd passed most of it had been taught to Sakura. Divided the distance with long strides she fell to her knees so that her face was in line with the bandage which had begun to seep rust red with blood. The white cloth was held on with a soft, barely sticky tape that she was able to pull away with minimal effort, though his leg hair had to sting as she did so.

Seeing the ragged, bloody wound made Sakura hiss, a harsh sound that escaped from between her teeth. "What did you do? Get into a fight with a saw?"

He had a gouge in his leg, five inches by three, the flesh looking like a mass of burger had Sakura had a weaker stomach she would have gagged. It had to hurt like a mother fucker.

She had him shed his pants the rest of the way and turn on more lights so she could see better, each command let him know there would be no nonsense now, not with her mind so set on healing. Sakura even forgot to blush and blubber when she ordered him to lay down on his bed in his rich sapphire boxers.

"I still think you should go to the hospital." She said, poking at the angry edges of the wound with her fingers. The skin around his eyes tightened but there was no other reaction from Itachi. "But no, you're not going to go, I know that much. So I'll try my best but there will most likely be a scar."

Over the next twenty minutes she hunched over his thigh, her hands steady and glowing a iridescent green. Itachi had clenched and unclenched his hands at first, his body going rigid with new found pain, but he'd been a good patient, staying still for the most part and even fully after the endorphin's had kicked in.

When she finally pulled away she was cold, having drawn a lot of Chakra from her core. Healing took more Chakra than training or fighting even did and his wound had been a good half an inch deep, biting into muscle she'd used a lot of it. "It's not completely healed." She said, surprised when her teeth chattered with cold, her black shorts and white shirt doing little to warm her even in the seventy degree house. "But it should get you by for now."

Raising himself to his elbows Itachi took one look at how worn Sakura was and decided against telling her about the other wound. But she was still in healing mode and saw the way his shirt bulged in the new found bright light of the bedroom. They had fought after that.

Sakura arguing that he needed to let her take care of that one as well, while he hadn't said much more than glaring red eyes at her. They'd compromised, Itachi grabbed her a surprisingly soft sweatshirt from his closet and while she snuggled into it he'd raised his shirt so she could see. The wound on his left side, right bellow his floating rib was covered in much the same bandage the thigh had been, though blessingly smaller.

Maybe it was because her Chakra was half depleted, or maybe it was because she was half insane but Sakura found her eyes wondering from the wound to the smooth expanse of skin that he revealed. Itachi didn't have much hair, though there was a fine dusting of dark curls that trailed down and down, disappearing into the boxers. _Does he shave?_ She wondered, then immediately felt like she had swallowed her own tongue.

Rolling back onto the bed she felt her healers grace disappear in a rush of a blush. _Why did I feel like I was fifteen with a crush again?_

She kept herself curled into a horrified ball till she felt the bed dip with Itachi's weight. Peaking from under her arms she stated dryly. "This has been the strangest eleven days." Garnering her composer back she was able to pull the other bandage off after he laid down once again.

Not as long or as wide as the thigh Sakura had a smile on which was quickly wiped away as she saw how deep it was. Flesh wounds were easier to heal than muscle ones. But none the less she called her Chakra forth and with warmly glowing hands she went to work. As the minutes ticked on she felt a creak in her back that her own muscles spasmed making her shake for a moment before she commanded her body to stay quiet. A yawn hovered on the edge for a long second till she had to let it out.

When she yawned for the third time Itachi called it quits, her argument had ended on another yawn which had made her lose. She tried, she really did, but when she went to stand that pesky muscle along her spine spasmed again and brought her literally to her knees. Yelping in a surprise of pain she could only hold her upper half from the carpet floor with her arm while the other tried to grasp the nerve.

Itachi had caught her little fit before now and knew what had her on the floor. So with a strong grasp he picked her up and threw her to the bed, ignoring the second yelp of pain. It would hurt stretching out the charlie horse but it was better to get to it like a bandaid, all at once. Pulling her back by the leg he made it so her hind end was over the edge of the bed, arms flat out on either side of her. Like this Itachi could pin her lower half with his and press into the bunched up muscle with strong hands. Sakura wasn't sure what she was more concerned about, the fact that she had Itachi so intimately pressed to her bottom or the fact that waves of pain shot up her nerve's from his administration.

What started as pain slowly turned into pleasure as the Charlie Horse faded out but he continued running his hands over the sweat shirt, rolling and twisting where needed. For the second time since she'd been in the house Sakura Haruno fell asleep while in Itachi's hands.

* * *

**AN:** Longest Chapter yet. Any other girls out there say 'not the hair' hur hur hur. As for the whole cake battle, don't say Itachi was so OCC there! Or anywhere for that matter. Because this is AFTER everything, Itachi has his brother which would naturally give him some of his 'personality' back. And I know, Grammar and some repeat of words, I just want to get this story out because of all the muse! I think I love When, Though, But and Then way too much. So none of this has a plot, I don't know where this is going, I'm just writing what the characters want me to. I don't know where this will end, if at 50K or 150K, I just hope this goes somewhere. lol.

Also started a OC Pokemon FF. Check it out if you like the little critters, it's called Glory and Gore. The chapters wont be as long, it's more of a side story to keep me from going mad with this one.

JustCallMeWhatever - Glad to clear some things up! That will be explained in further detail in later chapters as well.

angel897, Q-e17, nekokanna36 - Thank you, Thank you.

Tiger-Shifter - Hehehe, I completely agree, but then again Itachi is the Anbu Leader, Sakura's commanders of sorts maybe I haven't had that as her reason clear enough as to why she isn't beating the living crap out of him, then again it's Itachi... He is supposed to be all super powerful which she already lost to him once. I guess there is a dominance pyramid to me, where you should only push at someone so much till they kill you. And Sakura see's this if not subconsciously.

.X - Err... Ahh... Hehehe... This story is literally writing itself as I go, there are no notes for this, I look up the info as I need. But other than that the characters do what they want.

MewmewInuSailorHeart - Hope this chapter also makes a night for you.

Netag Silverstar - Soon enough?

mun3litKnight - Soldier pills x Alcohol, not a good mix, o no.

angelbabygirl36 - Nice to see you again!


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